“If I asked you what kind of person you are—a “now” or “later” person—which would you choose? I’ll give you the breakdown. The “now” folks are consistently drawn toward pleasing activities, spending their time getting lost in TV, sex, food, laziness—you know, all the fun-in-the-moment stuff. The “later” group, on the other hand, is drawn toward pleasing results, often engaging in less-than-pleasing activities in the moment. They invest their time in things like going to the gym, working long hours, reading good books, attending personal transformation events, hanging out with people who stretch their thinking, following through, risking, becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. Which of these two groups of people do you think experiences real freedom? Which category do you fall into? Be honest.” ~ James Arthur Ray from Harmonic Wealth
Ah, delayed gratification. It’s a hallmark of emotionally intelligent people.
In his great book, Emotional Intelligence (see Notes), Daniel Goleman describes an experiment in which four-year old kids are left in a room alone and told they can have two marshmallows if they wait for the experimenter to return from an errand. If they can’t wait till then, they can have only one marshmallow, but they can have it now.
Some kids were able to hold off the fifteen to twenty minutes (what must have felt like an eternity!) while others jumped on the one marshmallow--almost always within seconds. What’s fascinating is that their choice revealed a great deal about the trajectory that child would likely take in their lives.
As Goleman says, “There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse.”
Bottom line: We MUST be able to delay immediate gratification in pursuit of our goals!! So, go for the 2 marshmallows, will ya?!? :)
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PhilosophersNotes on Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray | |||||
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