“Stress is not caused by problems. It is your attitude toward the problem that causes stress. Knowing the cause of stress makes it easier to deal with, for now the appropriate question can be asked. The question is not how can I rid myself of stress, but how can I change my attitude toward work, events, disappointments, fears, and people?” ~ José Silva and Burt Goldman from The Silva Mind Control Method of Mental Dynamics
Silva and Goldman offer perhaps *the* coolest and simplest and easiest to implement overview of how to be happy I’ve ever read. (Seriously.)
Five Rules:
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If you like something, enjoy it.
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If you don’t like something, avoid it.
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If you don’t like something and can’t avoid it, change it.
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If you can’t or choose not to (important distinction there!) avoid or change something you don’t like, then accept it.
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You accept something by changing your perception of it.
First, let’s talk about stuff you LIKE. If you like something, enjoy it. Sounds simple (and is) but too often we like something and then have guilt or shame when we do it. If you like to scuba dive, ENJOY IT! If you like to wear no underwear, then ENJOY it! :)
How about something you don’t like? They give a great example of a student of theirs attending a seminar and leaving for a lunch break to discover that someone had smashed into the bumper of his car—leaving nothing but a big dent. Being a good student of the Silva Method, he went through these five rules and said to himself, “OK, I don’t like the fact someone smashed into my car, but I can’t avoid it or change it so I’m going to accept it by changing my perception of the event.”
Whereas most people would complain about the episode all through lunch and probably for the next week or so, this guy figured it would cost about $250 to fix his bumper and that he’d set himself a goal to make THREE times that amount within the next three months and, rather than complain, he chose to celebrate the fact that someone smashed his car and gave him the opportunity to set a fun goal for himself. :) Genius.
Sound too optimistic? Well, how would you respond to an event like that?!? And why wouldn’t you CHOOSE (yes, it’s ALWAYS a choice), how to create the most empowering story out of it? Happiness. It’s always a choice and these rules are a BRILLIANT asset for us as we create our ideal lives.
What about something you don’t like that you could avoid (like a certain person you don’t need to see as often as you do?)?!?
And something you don’t like that you can’t avoid but could change (maybe a job or a relationship)?
And, what about something you don’t like but can’t (or choose not to) avoid or change? How can you accept it as it is and decide to change your perception about it so it’s something that actually makes you happy?!?
Super powerful stuff. Take some time to think about/journal on these scenarios!!!! (Pretty, please.)
The next time you feel yourself getting a little feisty/unhappy, check in and see where you’re breaking one of these rules. And, of course, see what you can do to get back in line and get happy! :)
“Unremitting happiness, of course, is not a possible--or desirable--state. According to the principle of rhythm, there is always an inflow and an outflow, an ebb tide and a flood tide. You’ll always have high and lows--there’s no way to avoid that. However, your highs will be higher and your lows will be higher. And you’ll find that what is a depressive state for you might be a moderately happy state for someone unaware of the Five Rules of Happiness.”
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