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5:1 - The Magic # of Love
John Gottman knows relationships. He can watch a couple interact in his lab and be able to tell you within minutes (and with a stunning accuracy) which couple’s relationships will endure and which will dissolve.
One of his key factors? The 5:1 ratio.
To survive/thrive, his research shows that a couple needs to have 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.
Not 1:1. 5:1.
A positive interaction? You know, appreciations like, “I really love the way you shine when you walk into a room.” Or, “When I hear you laugh, I just have to smile. Your laugh is one of my favorite sounds in the world.” (Two of my personal favorites for my love. :))
A negative interaction? How about, “Why didn’t you do what you said you’d do?” Or, “How many times do we have to talk about this?” (Um…two of my other favorites. Ahem. :))
One of the key tenants of Gay & Katie Hendricks' Lasting Love and Conscious Living (that we’ll be coming back to again and again) is the concept of Appreciation. Consciously practice appreciating your partner (and every other person with whom you want a deeper, more vibrant relationship!) today. Make it a game! See if you can get to 10:1. Then things will start to really take off. :)
Inspired by: John Gottman
